I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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