we're blogging at a bar
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
