so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
