ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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