okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
