If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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