so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
