? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
