Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
