We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
