Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
