I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How external is "for external use only"?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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