I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
