I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize