But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize