I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
