Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if only i could text you this smell
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
