I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
