Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
