I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
