i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
