If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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