i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
