I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You pole danced in your parka.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
