Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
