i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
