My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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