I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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