...so i touched it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
