Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
