No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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