Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
