when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
