dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
