And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
