You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
