and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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