My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
