I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
