Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
