so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
