Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
