I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
