is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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