Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
