I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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