Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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