We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You pole danced in your parka.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
