Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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