so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
